But two kids. As in, a newborn and a two year old. A three and five year old. Twelve and fourteen year old. Nineteen and twenty-one...
Two of them.
But this morning I was suddenly jolted awake to the thought of "SHITE! I'm never going to sleep again. I'm going to be knee deep in diapers for another few years. I'm going to have to balance nursing with entertaining a toddler. Going anywhere is going to take some planning. Going anywhere solo is going to take a lot of caffeine and some (read : a lot of) Valium.
I know that this isn't going to be the end of the world, but I also know that this is going to be a big change for our family.
I started talking about how I still want to go to the Pumpkin Patch on Thanksgiving weekend, our family tradition that we've been doing for the past two years, with my husband today. That's nine days after my due date, for anyone keeping track. He looked at me like I was crazy. And I think he's plotting house arrest.
I don't know how to slow down. The day after Dean was home (two days after he was born), we were going on walks. Within twelve hours of being home, I had loaded him up in the carrier and went for a walk with my mom. When my husband returned to work, two weeks after he was born, we went to our first playdate. And when he was a month old, we were going along the Seawall, walking 6-10km (on top of a 30m commute there on transit) every week for a couple of months. We would leave the house by 9am some mornings, and be gone all day until my husband got home at 6p.
Having a newborn and having a toddler are fine - but having them together will be different. We'll have to make sure we are somewhere convenient to nurse - I can't just stop at any bench at the mall. I'll need one that is toddler-friendly. I can't just stop and enjoy a coffee while on a walk because the baby is sleeping (unless I really luck out and can time it so they both sleep!)
It will definitely be an adjustment period, trying to get used to the newborn phase again, while still creating an active and learning environment for our toddler, who will usually be shoving his shoes in my face within an hour of waking up because he's ready for an adventure.
We are very excited to welcome our second child into the family. And to continue to watch Dean grow and become close friends with them.
I'm excited for the firsts, for the second time. To see the first smile, the first step and to hear the first laughs and first word.
But I'm also feeling a bit of "first time mom" worry creeping in too...